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how to be a real fundamentalist October 31, 2007

Posted by AP in books, comedy, religion.
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a review of what happens when a.j. jacobs “decides to spend a year living all the commandments of the Bible—that’s right, all of them.” covered are such issues as:

How and when should you stone adulterers and Sabbath-breakers? What is the best way to inform your first wife that you’ll be adding to the family by taking a second and third? How many human slaves should you strive to own, and where can they be purchased nowadays?

and

What is the proper way to treat his unpaid intern (unpaid internships being, as Jacobs rightly notes, the closest thing to biblical slavery that our culture now permits)?

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1. KG - October 31, 2007

some answers to jacobs’ questions…

1) how and when should you stone adulterers and sabbath-breakers?
furiously and unrelentingly, and at every opportunity

2) what is the best way to inform your first wife that you’ll be adding to the family by taking a second and third?
in order of preference: via pigeon, g-talk, aim, telegram, smoke signals

3) how many human slaves should you strive to own, and where can they be purchased nowadays?
as many as you can afford & ebay and/or craigslist

4) what is the proper way to treat your unpaid intern?
as if he or she were a piece of livestock for if your unpaid intern slaves believe they are more valuable than livestock they may want 10-15 minute breaks and even medical/dental


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