“and he aren’t” June 23, 2008Posted by KG in 2008 Elections, comedy, foreign policy, iraq war, politics, psychology, race, religion.
Tags: comedy, john mccain, matt taibi, rolling stone
“full metal mccain” – matt taibi at rolling stone… hilarious article:
Even the briefest of surveys of the supporters gracing McCain’s events underscores the kind of red-meat appeal he’s making. Immediately after his speech in New Orleans, a pair of sweet-looking old ladies put down their McCain signs long enough to fill me in on why they’re here. “I tell you,” says one, “if Michelle Obama really doesn’t like it here in America, I’d be very pleased to raise the money to send her back to Africa.”
The diminutive and smiling old lady’s friend leans over. “That’s going a little too far, dear.”
“Too far?” says the first. “Farrakhan is saying they were brought here against their will, and their bodies are still feeding the sharks at the bottom of the sea! I mean, really!”
“OK, sharks still eating bodies,” I say, writing it all down. “Could I have your name, ma’am?”
“Janice Berg,” says the first old lady. “And lest you think I’m Jewish, the name comes from Norway. Berg is ‘mountain’ in Norwegian. I’m part German, part French myself.”
A few paces away, I catch up with a man named Ron Saucier and a woman who would only identify herself as Mary. Ron says his problem with Obama is the integrity thing. “He exaggerates too much,” Ron says. “He’s not honest.”
“OK,” I say. “What does he exaggerate about?”
“Well, like that time he was saying he had a white mother and a white grandmother,” he says.
I ask him how this is an exaggeration.
“Well, he was saying . . .” he begins. “As if that qualifies him to . . .”
Despite my repeated prodding, Ron seems unable or unwilling to say aloud exactly what he means. Finally, his friend Mary, a grave-looking blonde with fierce anger lines around her eyes, jumps in, points a finger and blurts out one of the all-time man-on-the-street quotes.
“Look, you either are or you aren’t,” she says.
“And he aren’t,” Ron says, nodding with relief.
And when it comes to Obama’s and his wife’s America-hating, well . . . McCain really doesn’t need to say anything about that. All he needs to do to remind audiences of Reverend Wright and Michelle “I’m proud of America for the first time” Obama is to offer a few bons mots in the opposite direction. “I seek the office with the humility of a man who cannot forget that my country saved me,” McCain likes to say. And while he doesn’t believe he was anointed by God to lead the great nation of America, he insists, “I am her servant, first, last and always.”
That’s it — that’s the entire argument. McCain is a canny enough old goat to know that the public’s insatiable appetite for traitorous enemies will do the rest. He’ll wave as many flags and stand in front of as many fucking fighter jets as you like, while the other guy lectures us about why he doesn’t always need to wear a flag pin in his lapel and calls a bomb-throwing Sixties terrorist “a guy who lives in my neighborhood” instead of calling for his immediate beheading.
Cindy Oestriecher, a McCain supporter who turned out for his speech in New Orleans, is stumped when I ask her for an example of Obama’s lack of patriotism. “What was that thing about anti-American?” she asks a friend. “What were they referring to?”
“What thing?” asks the friend.
“People were talking about that thing, that anti-American thing,” Cindy says, frowning.
“You mean about the flag, the thing on the Internet?” the friend replies.
“Yeah, I guess,” says Cindy. “The anti-American thing.” “That bothers you?” I ask.
“Of course it does!”
“But you don’t even know what it is,” I say. “You just know that someone else said he was anti-American. You don’t even know who it was that said it!”